Improve Your Self-Talk: A Quick Pick-Me-Up

You know that little voice in your head…

the one that shames you into working out and eating better,

the one that criticizes your cooking and notices all the dust and dirt in every room,

the one that tells you that everyone else has their shit together and you don’t.

A familiar voice

We all have that voice in our heads. For some of us, it’s like a nagging mother-in-law who moves in and takes over the spare bedroom in your brain, the one you always dreamt of turning into a craft room.

That voice can motivate us into action and make us feel like shit all at the same time. Because it’s such a major part of our existence, we don’t always give it the attention it needs. You may not realize just how negative your self-talk sounds!

It may be familiar, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Twinkies are familiar, but they are definitely not healthy!

self-talk inner voice inner critic positive thinkingChange your tune

Most of us are A LOT nicer and more compassionate to others than we are to ourselves. You’ve probably called yourself a stupid idiot, but I bet you punish your kids for calling each other names.

Fortunately, with a little attention and effort, we can change how that voice sounds and; therefore, how it makes us feel.

One trick is to talk to yourself how you would talk to your kids or best friend when they’re having a hard time.

Sometimes, I struggle with this because I know it’s really me I’m talking to.

I find it helps to imagine a particular person who is going through the same thing I’m struggling with and talk to her.

So, today I thought I would change my self-talk by imagining what I would say to all the other women and moms out there who could use some words of encouragement.

Here goes…

‘You’re doing a great job, much better than you give yourself credit for.’ 

‘Most, if not all, of the things you worry about, like parenting, money or others’ opinions, don’t deserve the time and mental energy you spend on them.’

‘You’re kids love you and just because they don’t like what you have to say sometimes or just because they don’t get along with one another or are unhappy doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. And really anything they do that upsets you isn’t a sign that you’re a bad mom. Kids can be assholes regardless of your parenting.’

‘It’s perfectly fine, and even totally necessary at times, to tell people ‘no’ or to sit something out. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first and not going along with the crowd.’

‘Just because you’re scared or nervous or worried doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. Instead of overcontrolling, take some deep breaths and slow down. Give the universe a chance to do it’s thing before you react and lose your shit.’

Whew, I feel better! Hopefully, you do too!

Being more aware of our self-talk is the first step to changing it. Take that first step by downloading my Twisted Tally Sheet.

I’d love to hear which ones resonated with you! Share in the comments below.

Thanks for taking the time,


P.S. Here and here are a couple of articles where I share other ways to overcome negative self-talk.

You can find even more goodness over on my Facebook page.

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About the Author:

Amanda Campbell, MS LMHC is a licensed counselor and life coach in Indianapolis. Contact Amanda today to get started on the path to a happier, healthier you! ________________________________________________________________________________ The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any mental health treatment, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require psychological or medical treatment, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist in your area. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column and its author are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.

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